the blog nobody asked for ♡
hey, you found my blog! ✨ a mix of college struggles, mom life, and everyday chaos. nothing fancy, just me putting my thoughts somewhere they can breathe. think of it like a diary i left open on the kitchen table.
rectal science horror
today i learned fart science is way darker than i ever could have imagined
my tomatillo babies
tiny sprouts poking up through the soil… feels like magic every time.
language, accent, and the politics of erasure
from nazi germany to operation wetback, history shows us where this slope leads.
sunday
i didn't really have much planned today and was in kind of a sour mood, but ended up babysitting since my sister and her husband went out and my mom was headed to the rodeo. i was gifted an arrowhead plant (already propagated, so sweet), and before leaving my mom asked me to do her eyelash extensions. while i worked on them, i joked about my failed dreams of being an aesthetician and told her about the grant i once won but never used because i felt discouraged by her. she actually apologized, saying she didn't know what she was thinking back then — even said, “you should've done that right after high school.” later my brother-in-law gave me money to take the kids to chuck e. cheese. it was fun, surprisingly laid back and easy — honestly feels more designed for adults these days, with spirits and tap beer on the menu. the kids had a blast, and i got a moment of calm in the middle of everything. the day ended rough with an argument, but i don't feel like spilling all that here.
spiderettes, guava plant and propagation stations
spiderette
this was a leap of faith. ive never cut and rooted my own before, but i'm hoping they'll take off and thrive.
pink sygonium
i still feel like crying. i was just gently pruning and it snapped off in my hands.. already such a weenie when it comes to pruning, so the moment it happened i felt like shit :c
guava plant
this one was gifted by my aunt in oregon—an og plant mom. i aspire to be like her, growing strong healthy plants and passing them down with love.
tomatillo sprouts
still so small, but seeing new green always makes me hopeful.
what a productive day
today my mom and me gave our shi tzu a much needed haircut and afterwards i gave her a bath. my other dog wasn't spared.international day of indigenous women | dia de las mujeres indigenas
what is international day of indigenous women? every year, on september 5, international day of indigenous women is observed in honor of Bartolina Sisa, an Aymara warrior and leader from the 1700's who resisted colonial oppression in Peru alongside her husband Tupac Katari.
who is natalia lizeth lópez lópez? in 2013, at only 11 years old, Natalia Lizeth López López from Veracruz, MX, delivered a speech that quickly spread accross the country. speaking during the children and youth parliament, she took the mic to address the struggles of indigenous ppl in mexico. her words were clear, unapologetic, and powerful. she called out inequality and urged for dignity and respect for ingenous communities.
her voice still matters today indigenous women's day (sep 5) honors the voices, struggles, and leadership of women like bartolina sisa. natalia's voice (though she was a child) belongs in that same lineage of truth tellers. her courage is a reminder that indigenous women and girls continue to be at the forefront of defending culture, justice, and community.
english readers: i translated the speech for you! click me to expand
natalia lizeth lópez lópez's speech (2013, nuevo león, mexico)
good morning to everyone present. my name is Natalia Lizeth López López, I am a student at Professor Rodolfo de León Garza elementary school and i am proudly of Indigenous origin.
i am grateful for the opportunity to participate in this photography contest "a citizen snapshot" organized by the electoral commision of nuevo leon. the theme being discussed today is very important. i feel that it belongs to me personally.
we live in a megadiverse country. so many cultures mix their traiditions and customs in unique ways that make mexico a very special and unique country. mexico is one of the nations in the world with the greatest diversity of indigenous peoples.
i don't know who chose the topic of this contest... 'multiculturalism in the state of nuevo leon' -- but i thank them enormously, because it opens a door to share somethig of our cultures with more people.
my roots are indigenous. i belong to one of those cultures that are often treated as a minority in society. i belong to "las Marías", as we are called in the streets, pointing us out because of our clothes or for speaking an ancient language: Náhuatl. and even though i live in the big city of Nuevo León, my parents make sure i learn the value of our roots in Veracruz.
i was born near the cerro del viento. where they say the hand of Moctezuma is imprinted on the rock. a huge silhouette, a beautiful sight.
even at my young age, helping my parents work with their work as street vendors has given me the chance to see many different realities of life. my mom sells plants in the local markets. she tells her clients: "give your plant water and treat it with love so that it blooms." and to me says "brush your teeth after every meal if you want them to stay white. put on lotion everyday so your skin wont dry out. read for 30 minutes a day and you'll learn many things."
one day, my teacher wrote on the board: "a drop of water pierces the rock, not because of its strength but because of it's persistence." at first, i didn't understand. but when she gave examples, i thought of my parents and everything they tell me every day. now i understand that things are only achieved if we are consistent.
i see on the news that crime, kidnappings, and corruption are rising, while education is failing. why do we lose respect for our elders, our neighbors, our country? why are the many indigenous groups in mexico dissapearing? why dont we value the richness of our roots?
because we are not practicing values. everyday we stop doing deeds, stop caring for others. adults get lost in the stress of daily life and focus so much on material things that they forget what really matters: teaching love and values in the family.
mexico needs a strong program to rescue values. we need to practice honesty, practice communication, practice tolerance, practice loyalty. practice, practice, practice values — many values — every day: at home, in school, at work, in the parks, in photography contests, everywhere and at all times.
consistency would make adults more respectful, punctual, cordial, organized, and productive. this would increase progress in the workplace, which is the motor of the country. and if children practiced values, if single mothers, street children, people with disabilities, and all vulnerable groups practiced values, they would become more active, more productive, more motivated — and above all, happier.
if cultural diversity were respected, if we recovered the values and respect practiced by our ancestors, our country would be so rich. if respect became a tradition, then presidential agreements, business with other countries, investments from big companies, and national programs would all be done with the well-being of people in mind, and honesty would prevail in every law.
let us remember our indigenous ancestors. they didn't sign papers, because their word was enough. they were people of honor.
why do we adopt foreign holidays like halloween and easter? why not fight to rescue our beautiful mexican traditions, so forgotten? let's live our own celebrations. let's spread and share the love for our many cultures that are disappearing.
let's support equality, let's support the integration of indigenous peoples into society. let's value our traditional foods — pipián, bocoles, and zacahuil — it's such a shame that many people don't even know them, even though they are typical dishes of Mexico.
this contest gives us the chance to celebrate the multiculturalism of our state. hopefully, the democracy of our country will be the same for all groups of people
how beautiful it would be if indigenous communities had the chance to participate in the political life of the country.
i am Natalia. I speak Náhuatl because my mother teaches me. but i feel sadness that i do not speak totonaca, the language my father carries in his heart.
i am 100% proudly Indigenous. and although i have sometimes been humiliated or looked down upon, i am happy because i know i am part of the great roots of mexico. and of one thing i am sure: we need much more courage to rescue so much history, so many values, so many traditions.
let's rescue our identity. let's build a mexico with today's technology, but guided by the values of yesterday. If each of us valued the good in our cultures, how rich our society would be!
forget your cellphone, your video games, your chat for a little while — and hug the people you love. talk to them face to face, and the bonds of love and values will grow.
let's respect cultural diversity. let's respect our society. let's build one culture: the culture of peace.
thank you very much.
thank u
i want to thank the person who recently signed my guestbook. your words came at the exact moment i needed them.
i'd just gone thru something that hurt me more than i expected. kind of embarassing to admit but a gc thing left me feeling rejected in that old familiar way, like being a kid again trying to make friends and not fitting in
i know i can be too much but tbh i thought i was in a space where that was okay??
the past past two days, i was struggling to untangle my feelings from logic. ik in my head it wasnt abt me. either way, my heart still felt heavy
it's silly, but i got pushed to the point of asking myself, why am i building and wasting my time on this stupid site. bc who am i trying to impress?
rn im eating my current hyperfixation meal - turkey + jellied cranberry sauce + provolone on sourdough (its all warm and toasty ofc) while typing this out.
ur message soothed me!! thank u so much. your words reminded me, that i DO belong and i'll carry that w me
having an emotional week
theres an emptiness ive been carrying lately
its not the kind that passes when i distract myself
or the kind that fades when i keep busy
it feels heavier
like a reminder that im not as important in people's lives as i hoped to be
when i see others connect so easily
i feel left out
but
even when surrounded by people, the sense of isolation still lingers
it makes me question where i belong
or if i belong at all
i feel invisible
gardening notes
🌱 sprouts n set up
- my summer squash sprouted!!!
- i'll need a bigger pot, at least 5-7 gallons for the squash to grow into. i read wide pots are best
- i need to make sure it has lots of drainage holes. if anything, i'll make them myself with a drill
🪴 typa soil
- need to buy more dirt. need to get get loose and nutrient-rich potting mix.
- i need to buy compost, or slow release fertilizer
🌞 light
- squash needs 6-8 hrs of sun
- since its close to the end of summer i'll have to buy a strong grow light placed 12-18 inc above the leaves
💧 watering
- check soil first - water only when the top inch feels dry.
- water until runoff
🌸 flowers
- male flowers: thin stem, pollen inside
- female flowers: have a tiny baby squash behind the petals
- ill need to hand pollinate with a brush or q tip and trasnfer pollen from the male to the female
tinfoil hat
this is what humans wish they were
physical traits
skin: semi transparent in places. showing faint outlines of veins and organs. ALWAYS moist. coated in a thin biofilm of protective peptides (cerave could never)
eyes: large and gold green with a third eyelid that slides accross for protection. adapted to both both underwater and night vision
limbs: strong legs with spring loaded tendons. cap leap 20+ feet in a single bound. fingers tipped with suction like pads for climbing
posture: semi crouched stance. flexible-spine for both land and water movememnt
voice: a resonant, vibrato-like call that can shake the air. partly for communication, mostly for intimidation
biological upgrades
pain immunity: they secrete dermorphin-like peptides that dull pain instantly. they can keep fighting or working through major injuries.
circulation control: they conciously expand or constrict blood vessels. can warm themselves in cold climates or cool down during stress.
visionary defense: when under extreme stress, their glands release 5-meO-dmt-like compounds into their bloodstream, forcing them into hyper awareness and prophetic hallunications. some cultures see the frog as an oracle.
tear weapon: when threatened, they cry bufotenin-laced tears. contact causes attackers to hallunicate or stumble.
sources: this is just a 'amphidian' write up, a hybrid concept i made up but its inspired on real frog biology. a google book on frog biology here, click me :p
end of quarter burnout 😿
it's the end of the quarter and instead of feeling accomplished i just feel drained. college is supposed to be exciting. but i've been struggling to balance everything in my life.
between being a mom, keeping the house clean, cooking.. it feels like there's never enough of me to go around. the constant juggling makes it hard to give school the attention it deserves.
things got even tougher with my kids getting sick at daycare again and again. hand foot and mouth with each visit. it's nearly impossible when there's whining, chaos, and the feeling that i've suddenly become their personal waiter.
i know i'm not giving up, but right now i'm just tired. maybe writing this down will be my reminder that even if it feels messy im still pushing through ♡
kitten visitors 🐾
we found three little kittens hiding under our porch. today i bought them some kibble (for proper nutrition) and left it out for them. last night i even gave them a tube of old pâté from the fridge — not exactly ideal, but i wanted to help! i really hope they start to trust me soon. maybe enough to take treats straight from me one day. ♡
site tweak diary ✨
i finally cooked up the new layout! split the CSS by tokens/base/layout/components and i'm proud of how clean it feels. nav pills got a tiny lift, cards feel snappier, and the media grid loads faster (hello 1200/900 square thumbs). next: polish the links page to match!
- updated fonts + spacing
- better card shadows + borders
- faster media thumbnails (1200/900 square) ♡
a longer note on “lore” posts
i wrote a longer “about me” lore post! probably going to link it from the media log too. sharing this with css155, stomach doing backflips lol. it's late but i'm proud. please roast (kindly)! what's confusing, slow, or ugly so i can fix it? ♡